A freelance writer’s online musings
Calvin posted this on Sep 5th 2008 under Children, Whimsy, family
Tomorrow is our 11th wedding anniversary and a card arrived from my parents with these stickers in:
Thanks Mam and Dad!
The worst thing about it is the fact that it’s absolutely true. God I hate conforming to a stereotype.
The girls of course think it’s a great skit – and are going to make us wear the stickers all day tomorrow. Can’t wait!
Calvin posted this on Aug 13th 2008 under Blog, Computing, Internet, Whimsy
Thanks to Walter at Sxoop for highlighting this priceless flow chart of chit chat with a web designer via Twitter.
Sums it up nicely really. I’m a writer, not a designer, but as soon as anyone finds out I do some website stuff… or I’m in any way involved in internet related work, this is almost invariably the way the conversation pans out!
Does this resonate with anyone else out there?
Calvin posted this on Jul 26th 2008 under Comment, Food, Rant, Weird, Whimsy
The new lawn out front was looking a bit patchy, so I called in to our local co-op this afternoon to pick up some grass seed. They put the seed into a potato bag (see photo below).
Front of the Potato Bag
Nothing strange there, you might think… until you turn the bag around and read what’s on the back.
That Irish culinary classic, Smoked Reindeer Stew
Yes, you read that right smoked reindeer stew! That’s just the sort of thing you might want to make with your bag if Irish spuds! Oh, hold on, I seem to be out of smoked reindeer again… I’ll just pop down to the local Dunnes Stores and pick up a pack!
What’s unbelievable is that somebody somewhere in Irish Potato Marketing actually chose to put that particular recipe on the back of the bag. Priceless!
Calvin posted this on May 21st 2008 under Rant, TV, Whimsy
Dustin the turkey came unstuck in Serbia tonight, as Norway plucked the final place from under the thoroughly stuffed puppet’s nose.
Thank God!
I’ve always been a dustin fan, but I couldn’t believe Ireland actually put forward a puppet to represent the nation — even if it was the Eurovision. It was always a joke… and a bad one at that.
To be honest I couldn’t care less about the Eurovision — but even as a blow-in I do care deeply about Ireland’s international reputation. My daughters are Irish to the core, and while there’s a lot that can be improved upon, there’s also a lot to be proud of in this fine nation. Entering a stuffed turkey in the Eurovision isn’t one of them.
So it’s “Irelande, Nil Pointe”… and all the better for it.
Now maybe Dustin can focus his energy on something useful… like running for Taoiseach!
Calvin posted this on Feb 27th 2008 under Career Moves Column, Whimsy
“Working it” column published in the Career Moves section of The Evening Echo on 18/02/2008
Valentines day has been and gone, but the date (pardon the pun) prompted online recruitment portal RecruitIreland.com to conduct a survey of romantic antics in the Irish workplace. Some of the findings of the survey were:
Calvin posted this on Jan 23rd 2008 under Children, Parenting, Whimsy
Just saw this on a friend’s FunWall on FaceBook and felt immediately compelled to share it. It distills some of the many frustrations of parenthood into a lighthearted three minute jaunt that’s bound to bring a smile to beleaguered mums (and dads) everywhere.
It has an American bias, naturally… but kids will be kids, so there’s plenty for us non-American parents to identify with.
Enjoy!
Calvin posted this on Aug 6th 2007 under Children, Environment, Evening Echo Column, Parenting, Whimsy, Wildlife, Writing
I don’t trust weathermen.
I’m sure they’re lovely people – but I feel you have to be a bit wary of anyone who makes a living out of the phrase “patchy sunshine with scattered showers”. A mainstay of the weatherman’s (or woman’s) “haven’t-got-a-clue” arsenal, the phrase covers a multitude of sins, and is routinely trotted out when attempting to predict our notoriously unpredictable climate. It’s normally used a lot in the summer, and means that no matter what happens the weatherman can turn around and say “I told you so”.
This year though the phrase is proving less effective than usual – generally because the “patchy sunshine” hasn’t materialised.
July started off with rain, then we had a period of rain, followed by… you guessed it, even more rain. When the occasional glimmer of sunshine did break through it was at best fleeting, and the brooding clouds soon regrouped to continue the deluge.
Everyone agrees that this summer has been a complete washout. Everyone, that is, except the RTE weathermen. According to a weather report I saw recently, the south west of the country experienced “normal” levels of rainfall in July.
Waving at his interactive map, the grinning (and clearly insane) weatherman, pointed out that while the east of the country had indeed experienced a massive 250% to 300% of its average monthly rainfall in July, here in the south west we’d recorded a mere 100%. In other words, nothing out of the ordinary.
Like I said: you can’t trust weathermen.
All of this bad weather is making the school holidays drag on a bit. Normally we’re heading off for picnics, days out at the beach, long country walks, or the girls are playing outside from dawn ’til dusk. Not this year. This year it’s very much a case of stay inside and wrap up warm.
Having the three girls cooped up inside for days on end can be a recipe for disaster. There’s only so much art you can do before somebody uses someone else’s marker, or refuses to share the pencil sharpener. Tempers become frayed, bickering escalates into name calling, which turns into fighting and then all hell breaks loose. DVDs can give you a bit of breathing space, but they’re not without their problems either. You still have to negotiate the tricky and potentially explosive topic of whose turn it is to pick the film.
The bottom line is that when the weather robs you of the great outdoors option, keeping the kids entertained and keeping the peace for any length of time is practically impossible.
In Britain they’ve discovered a new syndrome related to all this bad weather. Dubbed “Symptoms of Winter in Summer Syndrome”, or SWISS for short, apparently the symptoms last for up to a month and include things like colds, vomiting, diarrhoea, sore throats, inexplicable tiredness, fevers and general aches and pains. Some experts attribute the condition to links between the unseasonally bad weather and mild depression – which can suppress the immune system, resulting in a catalogue of minor ailments.
I think we all have a mild case of SWISS at the moment. The twins and my wife have been under the weather, if you’ll pardon the pun, the little one’s been even more cranky than usual, and I haven’t been in the best of form for a week or so. What we need is a bit of sunshine and some fresh air – and that’s exactly what the weathermen are promising for the next week or so. For once, I really hope they’re right!
Technorati Tags: Irish weather, summer holidays, rain, weathermen
Calvin posted this on Mar 21st 2007 under Environment, Whimsy
DO AS LITTLE AS POSSIBLE!
That’s right — put your feet up and relax… the more often the better.
Why? Because when you’re dashing about exerting yourself you consume more energy, and that means your body is emitting more of the “dreaded CO2“ that’s driving climate change and is set to end life as we know it.
Every living thing on the planet emits carbon dioxide. With around 6½ billion of us in the world, if we all sat back and took life just a little bit easier can you imagine how much we’d reduce our global CO2 emissions by?
Before anyone takes this too seriously (and believe me, some people out there will) let me point out that it’s meant to be tongue-in-cheek. Still, you have to admit it’s a pretty good excuse to roll out the next time your caught putting your feet up, beer in one hand, TV remote in the other.
“No, honestly darling, I’m doing my bit to help combat climate change. “
Of course, the really burning question is this: if we do nothing often enough can we trade the “carbon credits” we accrue through our inactivity to industry for cold, hard currency….?
Technorati Tags: carbon emissions, global warming, CO2, humour
