Monkey Mayhem
Calvin posted this on Apr 24th 2008 at 9:53 under Children, Evening Echo Column, Parenting, Writing
Published in the Evening Echo on 23/04/2008
A couple of weeks ago some friends invited us all to their son’s fifth birthday party. Rather than go through the rigmarole of putting on a party at home, with all the preparation, organisation and clean-up work that entails, they decided instead to do something away from the house. They opted for Monkey Maze in Glanmire.
Monkey Maze is one of those giant indoor multi-level play areas (WARNING! If you choose to click on the preceding link, be ready for some really irritating jungle sounds) with ball pits, slides and all sorts of soft, squidgy playthings where children can run amok without coming to much harm. This is a good thing, and in theory means that parents can relax and let the nippers get on with it. Sounds like the ideal party venue.
The “fun” began in the car. I wanted to listen to the news… but as far as the kids are concerned the radio is for one thing, and one thing only: music! They pleaded, whined and generally made such a fuss that I couldn’t hear the news anyway. I tuned-in to the first music station I could find, but they weren’t listening… they were far too busy chattering incessantly about what they were going to do when they got to the play area.
We arrived at Monkey Maze. It was absolute bedlam.
As soon as I stepped through the door the noise hit me. Screaming, laughing, crying, wailing, whining, chuckling, singing, chanting, screeching… it was a wall of sound that spanned the gamut of the childhood vocal repertoire. It wasn’t pleasant. Paired with the garish primary colours of the décor it left me ruing that one last pint in the pub the night before. We live and learn… or not, as the case may be.
The girls were “tagged” as we went in with special badges – electronic tags that apparently set off an alarm at the door if a child leaves unsupervised. A great idea, but why, I thought, use a pin system that puts a nice, neat little hole in their clothes. They were on a high; Funderland with their granddad the day before, and now this. How much fun could you cram into one weekend?
In a flash they had their shoes off, heading for the biggest, scariest looking slide in the whole place. I stopped them.
They spun in unison, each piercing me with a look that said more eloquently than words ever could just how much of a spoilsport their dad was. Taking it on the chin I sighed, and explained that, before running off into the melee, it might be a good idea to know where we were going to sit. Oh yes, they hadn’t thought of that.
We found our friends sitting at a table at the back of the building. Unfortunately it was just as noisy. The kids ran off to play, and we saw them only sporadically for the next two hours. The coffee was passable, and we had sandwiches and finger food for kids and grown ups. All in all it would have been brilliant, if it wasn’t for the incessant din.
When it was finally time to leave it took forever to coax all the children from the multi-tiered play-pen. After rounding them up we said goodbye to our friends. As we were leaving the little one pulled me down to her level and shouted into my ear over the racket “is it time to go to the birthday party now?”
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