Writing for life

Published in the WOW! supplement of the Evening Echo 28/11/2007

Last week the most extensive process of consultation with Irish children ever undertaken culminated in the office of the Ombudsman for Children publishing the results of their national “Big Ballot”. The ballot polled children and young people under the age of 18, and involved some 69,000 primary and post-primary pupils across the country.

The results I guess, could hardly be called ground breaking. For instance, the thing highlighted by children as their most pressing concern was the topic “Family and Care”, while last of the five issues they were asked to vote on was “Education”. So no real surprises then.

For those who are interested, the categories offered in the ballot received the following share of the vote: Family and Care 31.5%; Play and Recreation 24%; Having a Voice 16.5%; Health, Wealth and Material Wellbeing 16%; and Education 12%.

Cynics might suggest that the fact “Spending time on my XBox 360”, or “Surfing Bebo”, or “Staying up late on a school-night” weren’t included as options in the survey might have something to do with “Family and Care” clinching the top spot. Given the narrow band of topics children were asked to vote on, I suspect most competent adults could have “guessed” at the results pretty accurately. But I think it’s the process here, rather than the outcome that’s important. The key point is that children were asked their opinion – albeit about a limited range of topics.

Giving children a voice may only have come in third in the survey, but listening to children and teaching them that their opinion is valued is a critically important element of family and care too. The fact that the Ombudsman for Children has taken the “innovative” step of consulting the nation’s children is a step in the right direction, certainly, and she says that the results will help to inform the work being done by her office, and their subsequent recommendations to policy makers – which is something that parents, children and the broader community should applaud.

Of course, listening to children is vital on a micro as well as on a macro level. It’s amazing how easy it is for us to dismiss what our children say out of hand. We’re too busy with the myriad intricacies of adult life to really pay attention to what they’re trying to say. It can be far too easy to placate children with meaningless platitudes, and send them on their way, when what we should be doing is giving them our focussed, undivided attention and really taking the time to listen to and understand them.

We’re all guilty of it – I know I am, and I make a conscious effort to pull myself up on it as much as I can. It’s not easy, especially when they’re all clamouring for your attention at the same time… but it is important to try.

I’m constantly amazed when I do take the time to talk with them properly just how insightful children can be. The fact that they have less experienced at this big game of life than we do doesn’t make their thoughts, fears, dreams and opinions any less valid. Their view of the world is refreshingly simple, and often cuts through the veneer of complexity we adults naturally layer over everything.

We should all take a leaf out of the Ombudsman for Children’s book, and start listening to our children a bit more. Families, communities and the world in general would all be better off if we did.