Bring back Mum!
Calvin posted this on Oct 18th 2007 at 16:06 under Children, Evening Echo Column, Parenting
Published in the WOW! supplement of the Evening Echo 17/10/2007
“Dad, when is Mummy coming home?”
Mum had been gone less than 24 hours when the question first reared its head. On the surface of it, it was an innocent and perfectly reasonable query. It was the unuttered subtext that had me worried. I couldn’t help thinking that what “when is Mummy coming home?” really meant was “Dad, you’re rubbish at this. Mum’s way better, and we can’t wait until she’s back.”
I thought I was doing an OK job… but apparently I was deluding myself. My wife was in London visiting her younger sister – and had left me in charge. Well, I use the term “in charge” loosely. Within hours of her departure I didn’t feel very “in charge”. In fact, if that accolade applied to anyone, I’d have to say that the most likely candidate was the four-year-old.
She has this uncanny knack of telling you what she wants you to do in a way that seems to by-pass reason and makes you react without thinking. I don’t know how she does it, but I often catch myself automatically doing her bidding before conscious thought kicks in and reminds me that I am, in fact, the parent here, and that she is supposed to do what I tell her, not the other way around. About half of the time I manage to salvage the situation and assert a modicum of parental control, the rest of the time I’m an automaton.
When my wife first broached the subject of going to visit her sister I thought it was a great idea. After all, she’s with the kids all the time. The break would do her good. I’ve been spending a lot of time working lately too, so it wouldn’t do me any harm to be with the children a bit more.
I figured I’d be able to mind the kids, keep the house ticking over and get a bit of work stuff done on the laptop. No problem… it could even be fun! So she booked her flight – leaving Saturday afternoon, returning Tuesday afternoon. Great!
It wasn’t long before cracks started to appear in my idyllic little plan. When you’re not with the kids all the time its easy to forget just how demanding they can be. There are a million and one little things you need to keep on top of – from the minute they get up to the minute they go to bed they’re generating work… even when they’re behaving themselves. Throw in the inevitable fights, tantrums and screaming matches and it becomes more than a full time job.
It’s only when things start to break down that you realise just how well they usually work. My wife has everything running incredibly smoothly; the house operates like a finely tuned machine. It’s a precision operation that veritably hums along. Things are always tidy, the children are always clean, always fed, and generally happy and entertained. She makes it look so effortless – but stepping into that role even for a short time quickly reminds you just how much work is involved.
Keeping things running smoothly demands pin-point planning and flawless execution. And the kids are right… I’m rubbish at it. I’m doing a fraction of what my wife routinely manages every day, and I’m floundering.
Sure, I’m managing the basics – like food and clothes and stuff, but beyond that the jury’s out. I just hope I manage to pull it all together before my poor wife arrives home to a disheveled family and an even more disheveled home.
The children might well be missing their Mum… but not as much as I am!
