Writing for life

When the headmistress of the local National School rang to ask my wife if she’d fill in as a relief teacher for a few days she jumped at the chance. It was an opportunity to re-enter the workplace, however briefly, and the prospect of working with other people’s children would make a welcome break from minding our own.

One of the great advantages of me working from home is that when something comes up unexpectedly, like this teaching opportunity, it’s relatively easy to accommodate it. There’s no need to worry about childcare, for instance – I can just rearrange my work to suit.

So for the first time in a long time my wife went off to work while I stayed at home. It felt strange – but in a good way.

The little one and I stood at the front door waving her off, then we cleared up the aftermath of breakfast before heading up to my office in the back garden. I  was pondering the dilemma of how to juggle the demands of work and the antics of a quarrelsome three-year-old, but as it turned out I had nothing to worry about. The novelty factor of spending the morning with Dad kicked in and my little devil suddenly turned all angelic on me. I checked my e-mail and started work on an article while she sat at the other desk playing on my old laptop, asking the occasional question, but otherwise leaving me to it. We had a great time.

The twins are still at an age where the thought of Mum being a teacher at their school was a source of great excitement, rather than the embarrassment it would surely become in a few short years. As soon as they heard the news they couldn’t stop chattering about it. She wouldn’t be teaching their class – but they clamoured for details of what Mummy would be doing with the other children.

One of the things she had planned was for me to take our two pet ferrets in to show the class. Primary school children and ferrets: an unconventional combination, but one that turned out to be inspired! The children were so excited when I arrived at the classroom door with the ferrets in a cat box.

I guess ferrets qualify as pretty unusual pets. They have an undeserved reputation for being vicious, but in reality are much the same as cats or dogs in that regard. A mistreated ferret will be unpredictable and may bite, but a well cared for, regularly handled ferret that is used to human contact won’t. They’re curious, intelligent and affectionate creatures – incredibly mischievous and playful. They’re kind of like kittens that never grow up; if you give them time, and play with them regularly, they make fantastic pets.

The children at the school were fascinated by them. Interestingly the younger ones were far less apprehensive, eager to get up close, to touch and hold the animals. The older children in the school were much more nervous, preferring to keep their distance.
There were plenty of questions too. What do they eat, how big do they grow, how old are they, how old do they get, what sort of animals are they, do you let them out in your house?

“Do they bite?” asked someone from the back of the throng. Right on cue the ferret in my right hand yawned, revealing an impressively wide gape and a set of needle-sharp incisors. Far from engendering irrational fear though, the revelation just fuelled a fresh spurt of questions. It was heartening to see such a healthy level of curiosity. Here were young minds eager to learn.

When we got home, the ferrets curled up in their hammock and went straight to sleep. They can sleep for up to 16 hours a day, have food and water available on demand and do pretty much what they want, when they want.

I wasn’t jealous. I didn’t have time to be jealous. I had hungry children to feed, the lawn needed mowing and I still had that article to finish….

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