Published in the WOW! supplement of the Evening Echo 21/02/2007

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I don’t know about you, but when I think about going on holiday in February my imagination conjures up swaying palm trees, long white beaches and the clear azure waters of some tropical ocean.

My imagination is in for a rude awakening. Next week we pack our bags and head off to Sweden for a fortnight!

That’s right, Sweden – snow drifts the size of houses and temperatures that would freeze the testicles off a yak. I just got off the phone with my uncle, who passed on the jolly news that it was only minus fourteen there today. Great!

It all started last summer, when the aforementioned uncle visited Ireland with his Swedish partner. They stayed with us during their trip, and while they were here they invited us over to Sweden . True to form we’re taking them up on the offer. The flights are booked, we have the train tickets and we’re ready to roll.

It’s going to be quite a trip. First we drive to Dublin, then we fly to Stockholm – or at least what Ryan Air deems to be Stockholm, which means that once we land we have an hour-and-a-half bus ride before we reach the city. Then we catch a train north to Sundsvall. The girls are fascinated by the fact that we’ll be travelling by car, plane, bus and train to reach our destination.

They’re also thrilled at the prospect of taking a bit of time off school. We’ve timed our trip to coincide with the mid-term break, but they will miss a week or so. On the radio the other day a panel was debating the wisdom of taking kids out of school – but to be honest I’m convinced the twins will learn more out of two weeks in Sweden than they would out of the same period in school.

The main attraction of course is the snow. Just over a year ago my Mum took us on a whirlwind trip to Lapland. We were only there one night, and while the children enjoyed doing the Santa thing, what made a lasting impression on them was all the snow. It was the whole winter wonderland thing: tobogganing, building snowmen, getting wrapped up in snow suits and pelting Mum and Dad with snowballs. Now they’ll have two whole weeks of it!

Getting organised for any trip with the children is manic at best. As well as the usual routines of work, school and generally keeping the kids on an even keel, we have to get ourselves organised. Because we’re flying Ryan Air the packing has to be managed with clinical precision. As much as an ounce over the stingy baggage allowance and we’ll be landed with hefty excess baggage charges at the airport. So we’re travelling light, and that’s no mean feat when you’re taking a family of five to the Baltic coast in February!

This will also be our first time travelling by air since the introduction of the draconian new hand baggage restrictions. We won’t even be able to take so much as a bottle of water through the security checkpoint. In other European airports they’ve started handing out complimentary water once you reach the departure lounge. In Dublin, no doubt, we’ll be forced to pay inflated airport prices.

For me the best part about it is that we won’t be staying in a resort with loads of other tourists. We’ll be in a Swedish house, eating Swedish food and doing what Swedish people do. It will be a great adventure, and I plan to immerse myself in it wholeheartedly – except, that is, for the part where they cut a hole in the ice and jump in for a swim…. “SkÃ¥l!”

Technorati Tags: Sweden, travel, holidays, famly, children

Published in the WOW! supplement of the Evening Echo 14/02/2007

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“Dad, you wouldn’t be very good at that,” observed one of the twins.

“No way, you’d be so rubbish at it!” agreed the other.

I stuck my head out from behind the newspaper. They were watching Dancing on Ice – one of a rash of celebrity talent shows that have reached epidemic proportions on our TV screens. A little known male “celebrity” in a ridiculous figure-hugging costume was struggling to keep up with his professional partner.

This time, I conceded, the girls were right: I would be utterly and completely useless.

The girls, being girls, were only interested in one thing: outfits. Was the next one going to be pink or purple, frilly or sparkly, which one looked the nicest and why on earth was that man wearing sequins? I can imagine boys watching the show, but for very different reasons. They’d be waiting for an accident: a spectacular fall, concussion, perhaps even a severed finger.

Shows like this are vying with the “reality” genre for prime slots on the TV schedule. Dancing on Ice, Strictly Come Dancing, Soapstar Superstar and others fill our screens. They’re on every night of the week, and if by some miracle you manage to avoid them, they repeat them at weekends. Arrrggghhh!

I’m just grateful that we don’t have teenagers in the house yet. Hopefully these shows will have run their course before the girls start pestering me for mobile phone credit so they can text in their votes. No wonder TV companies are filling their schedule with these things: they’re making money hand over fist!

What happened to good old fashioned telly: film, drama, a bit of comedy and a smattering of light entertainment. Variety used to be the order of the day, but today we’re presented with different flavours of the same old thing. Television has become so formulaic.

The problem is that good television demands imagination, and a willingness to invest time, money and talent in production. This new breed of show requires none of the above, and the results are every bit as vacuous as you might expect.

Every time I turn the telly on these days I’m reminded of exactly why I don’t watch much of it. It’s rubbish! And more channels just means more rubbish.

When we moved house we were expecting to pick up the usual terrestrial channels – RTE 1 and 2, TV3 and TG4. But for some reason the auto-tune picked up BBC1, BBC2, ITV and Channel 4 as well. So we have eight channels to play with – and on any given evening there’s a fair chance that we’ll find nothing worth watching on any of them.

We toyed with the idea of getting satellite, but dismissed it after seeing it in action at mum and dad’s house. Satellite television is about quantity rather than quality. While choice is a good thing, adding hundreds of channels of dross to the mix just turns people into serial channel-flickers. No thanks!

In summer we tend to watch very little telly. Days are long, and outside beckons. But over the dark winter months curling up on the sofa in front of a warm fire to watch a bit of telly is a welcome treat for the whole family. Or it would be if there was anything good on!

The girls, I’m happy to say, are far from telly addicts. Even the little one, who likes watching Ballamorey in the morning, gets up and turns the box off when its finished. She’d rather play with her dolls house or do a jigsaw.

With some of the rubbish on telly these days I’m starting to see things her way. The dolls’ house looks ever more appealing, and before long I might even consider doing a jigsaw. Now that’s scary!

Technorati Tags: TV, children, reality television

Published in the WOW! supplement of the Evening Echo 07/02/2007

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On the radio the other morning a panel of “experts” were debating the issue of dangerous dogs, and the merits of banning particular breeds here in Ireland. The panellists were specifically focusing on the notorious American pit bull terrier. They also mentioned several other breeds, like the popular Staffordshire bull terrier, rottweiler and German shepherd – all of which are listed in current dangerous dog legislation, which demands that they be muzzled and kept on a short leash when out in public.

As a parent the thought of any dog attacking a child, regardless of breed, sends a shiver down my spine. I worry about the safety of my children… for all of a nanosecond, and then common sense kicks in. I realise that the chances of my children being savaged by a dog here in Ireland are minuscule.

It’s easy to understand why parents are concerned. With all of the publicity this issue’s been getting recently you could be forgiven for imagining packs of rabid canines roaming the Irish countryside sniffing out their next young victim.

Basically no responsible parent is going to knowingly allow their child to come into harms way (“Go and play with that nice, chained-up rottweiller Johnny,”… I don’t think so). Likewise, no responsible dog owner is going to knowingly put their dog in a situation where it’s a threat to children. Based on that premise it strikes me that the problem isn’t really with the dogs, per say, but with a minority irresponsible dog owners.

On the radio one of the panellists surmised that the problem stems from the fact that certain breeds of dog – and he used the American pit bull as his prime example – are natural born killers.

News flash: all dogs are natural born killers. They’re predators: killing machines, designed by nature for one purpose, and one purpose only. Despite a couple of thousand years of human genetic interference, that cute little puppy on the Andrex advert is still a wolf at heart. What makes it different is the way it’s brought up, and taught by people to suppress its killer instinct.

Another of the panellists had worked in the USA rehabilitating problem American pit bulls. I was surprised to hear that these dogs went on to work as drug sniffer dogs in crowded airports, and even as therapy pets visiting old people’s homes.

The problem, it seems, isn’t the breed of dog… the problem is the way they are treated by people and the way they are integrated (or not) into human society. Naturally some breeds are more temperamental than others, but take any breed of dog and you’ll find good and bad behavioural examples. It mostly depends on how they’ve been treated. Some breeds get a bad press simply by attracting the wrong type of owner.

When a dog is simply an extension of the ego, rather than a family pet or a working companion, you’re asking for trouble. If a dog is neglected or mistreated it will become either a cowering wreck or a vicious lunatic. Another potential time bomb is when “Fido” is treated as “one of the family”. In a pack wolves (and by extension dogs) establish a natural hierarchy. A dog will be subservient to those above it in the pecking order, but any individual equal or lower than it is fair game. Put the dog on an equal footing with the kids in any house and you have a dangerous situation.

Dogs should be treated like… well, dogs!

Banning certain breeds won’t solve the problem. Irresponsible dog owners will simply switch to breeds that haven’t been outlawed yet. And let’s face it, they’ll go for the most powerful, potentially lethal, ego-swelling breeds available. What we need is legislation to tackle dangerous dog owners, not dangerous dogs. They’re the real threat to our children’s safety.

Technorati Tags: Dangerous dogs, pets, children, parenting